Things have been ok. I am on the struggle bus again emotionally. It just feels like my emotions are out of fucking control. Up, down, left, right. I am trying to just be conscious of it and keep it to myself. I can't even enjoy intimacy right now because my mind is at a constant race. I don't know why I put this pressure on myself, this pressure to be perfect, but I know it is not helping anyone. I feel like I am constantly walking on egg shells trying to keep my SO happy. Trying to make his life more tolerable. Trying to do my wifely duties (except I seriously suck at cooking.... like I suck at it and I really don't like to do it... FML). But I keep coming up short. I HAVE to prioritize my schooling right now and the ever looming rain cloud of the time I will have to put my baby in the care of another is getting closer and closer so I am seriously grasping at straws to keep my head above water. I hope some day I figure out how to manage all of this shit. Until then, I'll be the exhausted sociopaths over there in the corner.
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