Picking Battles

2 April 2015

My SO and I talked today. 
Today was a good day. 

I told him how the lady at the VA thought I may have bi-polar disorder or anger management issues. Both I could see me having like a 5% issue with... so in other words... no I'm probably about average. We both agree that I most likely don't have any behavioral disorder but I still have unfinished business. I still have not mastered the ability to take feelings of anger, resentment, frustration, pissed off, or whatever as a signal. A signal to check myself, collect my thoughts and feelings, and either disregard them or address them.

As we were in the car he said something to me that really struck a cord (pretty sure I didn't use that right or say it right or whatever). He said that I still do things that piss him off or irritate him but he asks himself if this thing is really something that he wants to go into with me. It seems so obvious now but geez, if I would have employed this even HALF the times that we have argued. 

Do I REALLY want to make an issue of _____?

He said he usually follows up this question with something like, "Well that really pissed me off but she really does do a lot for me in these ways ____..." 

Ugh. He has done the work. Can you tell? 

So, I need to change my checklist to include these things. Do I really want to make an issue of this? and How else has he made my life better, easier, etc...

I think that this will really help me learn to cope with and control my crazy out of control emotions. 

Also, reading the Nonviolent Communication book has been great. It's a little overwhelming so I know I will need to read it again but seriously, if people always talked to each other the way he describes, there really would be no issues anywhere. The author is fantastic and I am so thankful to finally be exposed to his writings. 

Goals:
Pick My Battles
-what is worth talking about, what is not.
I still need to pin point my needs right now from my SO. What are the things that I was feeling I was missing from him and what do I want from him. 

good night <3