Happy. Sad. Mad. Glad.

29 March 2015

Happy. 

That is the root of all evils. If I am choosing to be unhappy with myself, I will be unhappy with everyone. 

Sad.

I am sad for the time I have lost being unhappy. I honestly am searching desperately for the root of my unhappiness and have not been able to put my finger on it. When I can't figure something out I get very frustrated and angry. However, in my book, the author writes that the root of EVERY problem is when self-love is not present. My heart is telling me that if I start there things will fall into place. 

Mad. 

I am so MAD right now. I am mad that I let this happen. I am mad that I have not been embodying the example I want to be for my son. I am mad that my SO is done and over us. I am mad that he has decided to protect himself from me and my toxic energy. But, I cannot stay mad forever. I will not. In fact, just writing about this anger is helping it escape me. How can I be mad at him for knowing that I am bringing him down? How can I be mad at myself for getting off track with my life when the opportunity to change is staring me back in the mirror. I can choose to be mad or choose to be glad.

Glad.

I am glad I have this life. I am glad I have this body. I am glad I have this soul. I am glad I have me. I am glad that I have happiness. I know what it feels like, tastes like, smells like. I am glad for all things that are me and what I am becoming. 

"I love you and accept you for EXACTLY who you are"